𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑐𝘩𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑤𝘩𝑜 𝑐𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑒…
This image struck me deeply.
I felt compelled to write on this and here we are.

A child, charred and glowing with unspoken pain. clutching on a bundle of match sticks. The very objects that threaten to consume them.
As counselors, we often meet adults who were once this child. In my case, I have personally worked with children who held on to pain like a lifeline. The lack of choice consuming them.
Children don’t know how to distinguish between safe and unsafe connections, to them it is something they learn the hard way. 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥. Even if it comes in the form of invalidation, rejection, pressure, or punishment.

𝑊𝘩𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑡𝘩 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑐𝑒, 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒.

They internalize this fire. And years later, they may come to us, burned. But still holding on.
For most, therapy and counseling become the first space where they’re invited to loosen their grip. To examine the cost of the warmth they’ve chased. To unlearn the belief that love must come with pain.

This work is slow, at times, heartbreaking.
But when we hold space with compassion, attunement, and consistency, we become a part of their process. We help them drop the matchsticks.